Guilty

The past few weeks I have been burdened so much for the lost. I have begged the Lord to bring people in my life so that I may share the gospel with them. I have prayed that the power of Holy Spirit would give me constant courage to verbally share God's love with the hurting, the searching, the lost. I have questioned my faith and my courage from the Spirit because it is so easy for me to share my faith verbally in countries in both Africa and Asia but when it comes to those neighbors surrounding me, my usually active mouth tends to shut. 

The Lord has been faithful in answering my prayers over the past couple of weeks. He has placed people in my life that I have been able to share the gospel with. I have not seen any come to a saving knowledge of His grace; but they have literally heard what Christ did for them on that cross and why. Thank you , Lord for answering those prayers.

However, last night I became guilty of sin; I let a moment pass away when I could have shared the gospel. I was standing outside of a coffee shop with some friends. A young woman walked up to us asking if we had a cigarette to spare; we didn't. It was obvious that this woman was hurting, I could see it in her eyes. I don't know if it was just from a nicotine craving or because she needed something to fill the void in her life (I tend to believe it was probably a mixture of both). Instead of going and getting that woman a cigarette and telling her about God's love, or at least walking after her once she walked away, I just stood there looking at her with that "usually active mouth shut". (You might have a picture of Dopey from Snow White and Seven Dwarfs in your mind...yep, that's what I looked like; the mouth open, nothing coming out, and a dumb look on my face.)

I was so burdened by the fact that I let that moment pass by that I dreamed about it last night. When I woke up this morning it was all I could think about. Thankfully my friend Sarah was at work with me this morning and I was able to share the story with her and she prayed for the young woman and for me. Thanks, Sarah. 

The more I think about this situation the more I want to pray for that young woman and her salvation. I pray now, Lord, that this woman will drink of the water You give and will never thirst again because the water that You give Lord will become in her a well of water springing up to eternal life!

The more I pray for her the more the guilt of letting that moment pass away does not leave me. Oh, Lord, how I long to bear the burden of the lost upon my shoulders, that You may be glorified and that those who walk in darkness will walk in the Light! 

I know I am guilty of sinning against the Lord because I did not tell that woman about the love God has for her; that He desires her more than she could ever desire a mere cigarette. I also know that I have been forgiven from sins past, present and future and I know that God's grace flows down on me everyday. However, I don't want the burden of that guilt to lift; I want to carry it with me so this doesn't happen again.

I am guilty. I pray the power of Holy Spirit will give me courage, strength and an active mouth so that another does not walk away without knowing God's love.